January 24, 2010

And I Begin

I have never been to a prison and never went to visit anyone. This was my reality yesterday. What I feared for the last year, beginning last January actually happened. I never in my wildest dreams ever imagined my son in prison. He is a good person, a smart, polite, and thoughtful young man. He made a bad decision and this is where he lives for the next year. This has affected mine and my husband's life more than I could have ever known.

I would like this blog to be focused on my love for cooking and the quest for the interesting and healthy cuisine. I have been studying and learning about vegetarian and vegan life styles. I love to cook, but also want to avoid many of the diseases my family has suffered. I want to share books, links, and articles about healthy sustainable living. I care about the environment and want to learn more about how to do my part to help the cause. I am interested in gardening, we have learned to garden and grow much of our own food in the summer. I participate in a CSA and am very enthusiastic about the "Farm to Table Movement." I am somewhat of an artist, mostly a crafty woman and open to many styles of art and music.

But, as the title suggests, I am a bit eclectic and this blog will be eclectic. I hope I will be able to see some personal growth during the next year by writing about my thoughts as I go through the pain of seeing my son in an orange jumpsuit behind bars and more bars and barb wire. Since the very first moment we knew he was charged with a serious crime I have experienced anger, fear, and resentment like never before. Sometimes I handled it well, sometimes I didn't. During the ordeal of all the courtrooms, jails, attorneys, etc., and many of the other experiences with our "Just Us" system, I couldn't see that anything good would ever come of this. I feared for my relationship with my husband as many couples don't survive pain and tragedy like this. It definitely brought us closer, we came together as a couple who've been together for 24 years should. We had some upsets along the way, but we are getting through this together. We have learned to talk more and share our feelings and thoughts more. We will get through this as stronger people and I am beginning to understand and believe this.

I have been reminded that we cannot appreciate the calm without a storm. The storm is still rolling, but I am learning to handle it in different ways. Because the only thing I can control is how I handle a situation.

I am someone who prays the serenity prayer every day:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can and
the wisdom to know the difference.

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