July 9, 2010

A letter to Barb

Things have been pretty quiet in our lives lately. Summer is here and we look forward to some music, camping, festivals, time with friends, gardening, and fresh food adventures.  I've been stuck for something to write about. Not much of a writer, but I still feel like I should have something to say and not just post a blog because I feel like I should. I was writing a letter to my friend and sister, Barb, this morning and realized it would make a good post as it sums up life pretty well.

Barb and I have been friends and sisters since we were 14 or 15.  We dreamed of our own home together in high school and we did have that home together, a couple times.  Love you Barb!

Deb & Barb 1979
Hi Barb,

I haven't been very sociable this year. The deal with Marty really broke our hearts. I have been dealing with a different kind of pain like I have never known. Two evenings with this young lady and so far he has plead guilty to 'rape of a child' in two counties, I think three counts. He is facing two more right now. FOR THE SAME NIGHT! He's been in a jail or prison for a year and a half now. This is the fifth jail he is in right now.

He finished his prison term for WA last month and was transported directly to St. Helen's Oregon to face another two charges for the same fucking incident. You see you have to drive through Columbia County to get to Astoria where he was first convicted. Apparently they might have stopped at the beach near the river on the way. He is getting charged now for what we might call the "pre-game." But, whatever happened, it happened on the way to the main event in Astoria and the charges he already plead guilty to now count as prior offenses. So, two nights, something like five counts of some form of rape in three counties, two states. He is facing 14 years in prison in Oregon. If he is found guilty of the charges in Oregon he would be sentenced to 14 years without the chance of parole.  And, this is his first offense, I don't understand this.  If he had robbed a liquor store, he'd be completing his probation by now.

Scott and I stick pretty close to each other these days. We have pulled together like a couple that has been together 25 years should.  We have had a few bumps along the way, but for the most part, we've been good to each other through this.

We have a great garden, 40' x 40'. It's in a community garden plot where there are 120 gardens. It's an awesome place. We put lots of our energy into that. Last year we gave away food to almost everyone we know. I dropped off lots at churches, AA halls, and brought veggies to both our jobs. I can't believe how much we love it. We first started the big garden last year during this ordeal. Someone said gardening would relieve stress and I thought we could try it. They were right, I can go two, sometimes three, hours without thinking about Marty and Bob.

Anyway, we do get into pictures a lot. Since Marty has been in so many places, we go see him every other weekend, we see a lot of the countryside. The prisons were both a four hour drive, roundtrip. We make sure to stop along the way to hike, take photos, and try to turn it into an enjoyable trip. We've been to see him in three jails and two prisons. Unfortunately I know the difference between a good visiting area and a bad one. We have been searched numerous times and gone through some interesting and humiliating procedures. Oh, he can't live here when he gets out either because we are too close to a school. Fuck, he didn't rape anyone, he had consensual sex with a young lady who called our house and asked him out. I dunno, time to buy a small farm I think. We do need a business. I want to retire in six years, but I know I will still need to work.

Pisses me off, I live my life sober and honestly, Scott & I don't do harm to anyone and live a pretty quiet life. We have a happy loving relationship. Sometimes I just don't understand how it could go so wrong so quickly. I still have a hard time believing this is happening.

Bob is in Afghanistan. He communicates on facebook now & then. He says there is more fighting going on then when he went to Iraq. Some stories he probably shouldn't be telling his mother. He sent some interesting pictures of his unit going through farms picking vegetables. Or, I thought they were vegetables. I posted the pictures on my blog and later when he called asked him what he was picking. He said, mom, look closer, those are huge Oregano? plants. Oh, duh, guess I have pictures of huge pot growing in vegetable fields and I didn't even know it. Yeah, I'm an old fart now I guess.

So, I am still me, just a bit quieter, bitchier, and sometimes down right pissy. But, I still love you. I am looking forward to your son's wedding, whenever it may be. It will give us a good excuse to come play in the bay area. We like that.

Here's a link to our pictures we take, Our pictures. There is a folder called "Garden 2010." We are really happy with gardening. I think we will probably get a run down farm in the future and go back to living in the country, I'm ready. After all, we moved into town for the kids years ago, they aren't here anymore.

Enjoying the sunshine tremendously, it's been in the 90ºs, we had no spring! Get to go get my granddaughter next weekend and play with her for a couple weeks. I am going to start the adventure with a trip to Sequim for the Lavender festival.  She's big enough to go visit the farms with me and make some lavender crafts herself.  I am very excited about that.

Love you, Deb

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