May 2, 2010

Keep Moving Forward

As happy and calm as I seem to be most of the day, I do have those times when I am a screaming inside because I just don't understand how my son ended up in prison and how my other son will be in a war zone in just a couple days. I feel great after my morning prayer and meditation but have to stop throughout the day and refresh that feeling with a little breathing and prayer. I noticed this yesterday. After a nice quiet morning at home and some peace in the garden, just a short time later, I am going through this tense feeling again. I am driving to the farmer's market listening to the Grateful Dead marathon on KBOO, and looking forward to the events of the day. I should be feeling great, but I find myself suddenly in tense screaming mode. This feeling seems like it just comes out of no where and without warning. I take a few breaths and mutter a "God's will, not mine" or some other short prayer that reminds me I am not in control and freaking out is not going to help the situation. The feeling passes in a few moments. I try to combat this stress by being creative, busy, and productive. The gardening helps and so do the cooking adventures. The only thing I can control in this process is how I react to these situations and feelings. I can only keep moving forward in the best, positive way I know how and not cause any more pain. I need to remind myself that life is good for the most part and there is a lot of love in my life. We will get through this, this will pass. I must say that my husband and I really did have a very nice day together yesterday and look forward to another today. We do enjoy each others' company. I have a great relationship and some very loving friends. I know I am not going through this alone.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of testing a few recipes for The Flexitarian Cookbook coming out this fall. It's a collection of recipes that can be made with or without meat.

I can't reveal the recipes yet, but I got to try out:

White Bean & Spinach Soup

Tuscan Bean Soup

Roasted Eggplant and Mint Salad


Jeff's Grilled Elote, a spicy Mexican corn on the cob
I did get a lot of the week's cooking done yesterday. I will probably put together something sweet, but for the most part, taking it slow is my goal. Today I am hoping to get some crocheting and reading time, maybe a nice long walk, even if it's raining.

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